On Passion Plays

This afternoon I went to see a passion play put on by a local church. I’d heard about it because a member of the church I go to had told me about it, seeing how he had a part in the play and all that. So he had dual reasons for telling me about it. Now, I’ve seen and been part of multiple passion plays over the years, put on by different churches, so I know more or less how they go and how different churches emphasize different events in Jesus’ life and especially His final week.

This could also mean I’m a little biased when it comes to them.

But I went.

And not ten minutes into it I was thinking, “Oh. My… What. On. Earth. Am. I. Seeing?”

I know plays like this are low-budget. The same goes for the bulk of other Christian performances (such as the woefully inaccurate Tribulation Trail / Judgment Journey events that pop up around October) and movies. I know not to expect a huge blockbuster performance out of them.

But come on. You’re presenting God’s truth to the lost – at least to the lost that the saved drag to these sorts of performances. Can’t you at least make it compelling and interesting, and not laughably bad? The play today was so horrendous that more than once I considered getting up and walking out in the middle of it. That really is not good. I know that as a writer and an amateur performer I can be more critical of others’ work, but that doesn’t change the fact that you’re losing at least one audience member. Do you really want to take the chance of alienating those who need to hear the gospel, but who are too busy laughing at your sorry attempts to convey the message to actually hear it? I know the message is the most important part, but if the execution is terrible…

The script today was good, by the way. It could have done without Satan’s evil laugh, because that made Satan look more like a child’s villain and less like the enemy of all of us, but aside from that it was good.

I know people are saved as a result of these events. This is undeniably a good thing, and I will not dare to suggest otherwise. But that does not mean there is no reason to change. Lest you think that the play need not change because it is leading to what God wants to do, also keep in mind that God works in our weaknesses.

And I think, a lot of the time, that is what He is doing.

But is it really so hard to come up with a good, low-budget Christian performance? I know I have seen several. These are the groups that spend weeks on end preparing and working with what they have, refining it until it is as good or better than many other plays. Even little things like keeping the performers from being anachronistic (no glasses or watches, no obvious microphones) goes a long way. You are wanting to present the gospel to many people. This is good, and admirable. But you are also choosing to do it in the form of a play. So please, make it good. You don’t want people laughing at your inability to act or keep a crown of fake thorns on your head while the Messiah is being beaten nearly to death.

Encounter with TSA in IAH

Part of my line of work involves traveling about once per month, and my destinations are distant enough that I just about have to fly there. Setting aside for the moment the often-unpleasant experience of flying economy for long distances, I would rather mention another domestic problem.

See, I am not the world’s most submissive coyote when it comes to not just air travel but a number of other interactions. So sometimes there is friction. But I discovered something last week when flying out of Houston Intercontinental Airport.

Apparently the TSA this airport has started the new procedure of requiring would-be passengers to give them their name when the traveler gives them the usual documents (boarding pass and ID). It’s funny because the person covers up the ID and gives you a blank stare – probably the only one they’re good at – while you state the obvious. And then when you show the TSA that you passed kindergarten, they let you through to be strip-searched or groped.

But I was unaware of this new procedure, so I did what any reasonable person would do, something the TSA cannot stand: I asked, “Why?”

It is an odd question of theirs, considering my name and photograph are prominently displayed on my driver’s license and I bear a remarkable resemblance to myself. So I asked, “Why do you ask? It’s right there on my ID.”

Apparently that was the wrong response. I dared to Ask a Question, rather than Submit and Obey. The old, sunken-eyed blueshirt I had to deal with didn’t care for it. Shocked at my willingness to challenge their rule, she jabbed a finger toward the side and shouted, “Go stand over there! I don’t have time to deal with people like you,” as she radioed her supervisor. I waited a few minutes, so I kept asking her about the procedure, which prompted her to plead for her supervisor again.

Eventually he came. He explained that it was something they only did at this airport, and those who weren’t willing to comply could stand outside until they cooled off and were willing to Obey. I asked him who had come up with the policy, and why they had implemented it. Aside from saying it was standard operating procedure, he said he couldn’t tell me why.

In other words, there is no reason. This should be no surprise to anyone.

After a couple minutes I did give my name. It was displayed for anyone to see, so it was not exactly a secret. I will give them information they already have. Besides, I wanted to go home.

And of course later I politely declined the scanner, so they politely groped me. I have to get the full experience, after all.

They probably don’t want me to come back. I can’t say I particularly want to return, either.